If you've not been blessed enough to witness Dave Matthews Band live, I would suggest procuring a time machine and travelling back to about 1995 when they were still touring the "Under the Table and Dreaming" album, thusly saving yourself the mind-numbing hours of whale infused Celtic flute and Native American wind music that dear Evan and I were saddled with last night.
Granted, tragedy had befallen the band earlier in the day and one cannot blame them for sticking to a more somber setlist than they might have previously planned.
That all being said, can anyone actually understand what Dave Matthews is saying? In an attempt to transcribe the lyrics to a particular song (whose only understandable lyrics seemed to be "brothers and sisters," and "Ooh yeah-eh-eh-yeah,") I could swear I heard him say "the empty sun with angels well lit/ *mumble mumble mumble* oven mitt".
Happily enough, the tickets were free and events of the evening rather epic. Therefore, I feel only a pretentiously parodying piece of poesy may do any justice to the performance, so please enjoy a piece I have entitled:
"'Twas a Free Concert of a Band I Really Liked Back in the Mid-to-Late 90's", or "Play Us a Song, Dave!"*
'Twas a mid-August Tuesday in downtown LA
And the kids were all gathering to see Matthews play.
The tickets were printed, held tightly in hand
Excitement was brewing for their favorite band!
Bartender's served drinks and the swag was well sold
With visions of "ants marching" strung up in bold.
I, in my skinny jeans, and Evan, a bro
Had driven up northwards to go see the show.
When out in the lobby a ruckus we heard
As the bros headed inwards not to be deterred.
So into the arena we wandered to sit
In hopes Dave would play us his one favored hit.
The smoke hit the air as the first chord was struck
And it wafted behind us; that known stench, what luck!
When, what to our wondering ears should be said
But news that the band's saxophonist was dead.
He passed after noon, Dave Matthews dictated,
He gave up the ghost and is sadly belated.
So tonight, he informed us, we're going to play
The songs he enjoyed back in his living day.
With Celtic flute trilling and whale sounds galore
Dave Matthews played music from a far off shore.
Not sure what to ponder, to gander, to think,
We excused ourselves briefly in search of a drink.
As sure as the sunrise will follow midnight
'Tis not a true concert unless there's a fight.
Beverly Hills and her boyfriend; a Tool,
Had decided to make themselves look quite the fools.
Dressed in cheap imitation with gin breath to spare
They begged for a kiff, waved and danced on the chair.
Their friends stood before them, annoying the masses
Harassing the crowd with spilled beer from their glasses.
'Til security came and the Tool he did shout,
"Hey, f*ck you all! I know what it's all about!"
He pulled on his shirt and lunged toward a fellow
Who before this had been rather still and quite mellow.
The guards, they detained him as Dave strummed along
Leading the masses in a well-known song.
Singing the chorus to Gabriel's' "Sledgehammer"
Dave Matthews, he grinned and the words he did stammer.
The band played succinctly, not missing a beat
And Dave, he did hop 'round and dance on his feet
Cradling his guitar with the love of a father
He played more new songs. Play a hit? Oh, why bother!
As the evening wore on and we heard "Satellite",
"Two Step" it seemed, would be nowhere in sight.
David Byrne represented, the house was burned down
And a story was told of an African town.
As we checked our clocks, saw two hours had past
We wondered, would he play "Ants Marching" at last?
Then finally, strung fiddle strings played aloud
That familiar tune truly pleasing the crowd.
The intro extended, Staples Center did swell
With sweet tempered humor the cheering befell
And we heard him mumble, 'fore the stage he was lit;
"Blargedee blumble farfall, merfin dee, oven mitt."
* There was a gentleman sitting three rows behind us who took it upon himself to begin yelling "Play us a song, Dave!" about an hour into the show. Perhaps before this moment Dave had only been reading aloud to us? Lecturing on the theories of Quantum Entanglement and the misunderstood purpose of the Hadron Collider? The world may never know, but thanks to this one man Dave did indeed play us a song (or twenty). Thank you, unknown gentleman.
Granted, tragedy had befallen the band earlier in the day and one cannot blame them for sticking to a more somber setlist than they might have previously planned.
That all being said, can anyone actually understand what Dave Matthews is saying? In an attempt to transcribe the lyrics to a particular song (whose only understandable lyrics seemed to be "brothers and sisters," and "Ooh yeah-eh-eh-yeah,") I could swear I heard him say "the empty sun with angels well lit/ *mumble mumble mumble* oven mitt".
Happily enough, the tickets were free and events of the evening rather epic. Therefore, I feel only a pretentiously parodying piece of poesy may do any justice to the performance, so please enjoy a piece I have entitled:
"'Twas a Free Concert of a Band I Really Liked Back in the Mid-to-Late 90's", or "Play Us a Song, Dave!"*
'Twas a mid-August Tuesday in downtown LA
And the kids were all gathering to see Matthews play.
The tickets were printed, held tightly in hand
Excitement was brewing for their favorite band!
Bartender's served drinks and the swag was well sold
With visions of "ants marching" strung up in bold.
I, in my skinny jeans, and Evan, a bro
Had driven up northwards to go see the show.
When out in the lobby a ruckus we heard
As the bros headed inwards not to be deterred.
So into the arena we wandered to sit
In hopes Dave would play us his one favored hit.
The smoke hit the air as the first chord was struck
And it wafted behind us; that known stench, what luck!
When, what to our wondering ears should be said
But news that the band's saxophonist was dead.
He passed after noon, Dave Matthews dictated,
He gave up the ghost and is sadly belated.
So tonight, he informed us, we're going to play
The songs he enjoyed back in his living day.
With Celtic flute trilling and whale sounds galore
Dave Matthews played music from a far off shore.
Not sure what to ponder, to gander, to think,
We excused ourselves briefly in search of a drink.
As sure as the sunrise will follow midnight
'Tis not a true concert unless there's a fight.
Beverly Hills and her boyfriend; a Tool,
Had decided to make themselves look quite the fools.
Dressed in cheap imitation with gin breath to spare
They begged for a kiff, waved and danced on the chair.
Their friends stood before them, annoying the masses
Harassing the crowd with spilled beer from their glasses.
'Til security came and the Tool he did shout,
"Hey, f*ck you all! I know what it's all about!"
He pulled on his shirt and lunged toward a fellow
Who before this had been rather still and quite mellow.
The guards, they detained him as Dave strummed along
Leading the masses in a well-known song.
Singing the chorus to Gabriel's' "Sledgehammer"
Dave Matthews, he grinned and the words he did stammer.
The band played succinctly, not missing a beat
And Dave, he did hop 'round and dance on his feet
Cradling his guitar with the love of a father
He played more new songs. Play a hit? Oh, why bother!
As the evening wore on and we heard "Satellite",
"Two Step" it seemed, would be nowhere in sight.
David Byrne represented, the house was burned down
And a story was told of an African town.
As we checked our clocks, saw two hours had past
We wondered, would he play "Ants Marching" at last?
Then finally, strung fiddle strings played aloud
That familiar tune truly pleasing the crowd.
The intro extended, Staples Center did swell
With sweet tempered humor the cheering befell
And we heard him mumble, 'fore the stage he was lit;
"Blargedee blumble farfall, merfin dee, oven mitt."
* There was a gentleman sitting three rows behind us who took it upon himself to begin yelling "Play us a song, Dave!" about an hour into the show. Perhaps before this moment Dave had only been reading aloud to us? Lecturing on the theories of Quantum Entanglement and the misunderstood purpose of the Hadron Collider? The world may never know, but thanks to this one man Dave did indeed play us a song (or twenty). Thank you, unknown gentleman.
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